gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
