When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
