And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
