32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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