He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
