just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
