remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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