got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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