READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I can text with my tongue
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
