He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
