Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
