We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
