The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
