Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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