dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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