How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize