A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
you're hired as official boob wrangler
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
