I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize