VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
