corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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