haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
