So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
where are my pants?
in the oven.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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