I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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