I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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