I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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