My room smells like vodka and shame
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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