Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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