the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
