did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Randomize
