My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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