Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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