why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
