Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize