I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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