Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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