Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize