Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
