Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
