Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
