I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
