remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
