their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
