If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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