I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
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