Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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