i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
