I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
that may or may not have been my penis.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize