No stitches, just platelets and will power
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
