dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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