I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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