you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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