I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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