he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We just shotgunned beers for America
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
