i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize