toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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