He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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