Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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