i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize