I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
