My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
