is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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