i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
