i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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