first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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