I'm drive I can fine osifer
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
