i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
