Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
