Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
