im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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