I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
