That's intense
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
