am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
