marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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