so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
