I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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