I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Sober January is a disaster.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
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