i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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