It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
