yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
