Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize