I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
