i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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